Lately, People of India haven't been very lucky when it comes to its Prime ministers. A seat which was once adorned by the likes of Lal Bahadur Shastri has recently become a magnet for some spineless, sleepy and even brainless souls. The exotic line of not so good PMs started with Morarji Desai, whose mansion reportedly didn't have a urinal. Obviously, such a facility doesn't serve a purpose other than space wastage in a house where the official drink is produced by humans themselves. Then there was the infamous V.P.Singh who rivals our current HRD minister Arjun Singh in implementing stupid rules. Next in line is the one and only Devegowda who was never seen in public with his eyes open. He's famous for sleeping in a vareity of poses in every public meeting that he attended. Then comes a certain puppet who always obeyed the 'mistress of puppets'. So, who's the next in line to join this illustrious company? And what will happen when they take charge...Here are 3 probables and 3 improbables..
1.Rahul 'empty head' Gandhi
A name which is on every lip(each of those lips were paid Rs.1000 each) these days. His educational qualification is still under a question mark. He had successfully sued and made quiet an allegation by a reputed magazine that his harvard degrees are fake. And, now he has surrounded himself with some real Harvard MBA graduates to give him sound advise. Still sometimes his loose tongue brings him bad name on occasions like when he claimed India's independence as his family's achievement. The day he becomes PM, India's fake degree holders will replace the real degree holders in all jobs. All public department heads will be given an opportunity to fill the new job vacancies with unworthy candidates from their own family.
2.Maya 'statue' wati
I can't help but shudder at this thought of her becoming PM. Famous for her opulent birthday celebrations, the amount spent for which runs to 100s of crores, she has also managed bridge the caste divide in gaining support. Recently, she started a mega project to fill the state with statues of leaders like Ambedkar and herself. When she becomes PM, January 15(her birthday) will be declared a national holiday. Birthday bash collection slips for a minimum amount of 1 lakh will be sent to every Indian citizen's house, failing to pay which you will be brought to justice by a high speed court(read-her goons). Every city centre will be adorned with a statue of the lady and a blue flag.
3.Na'no'rendra Modi
Pre-Nano, he was a demon for the media. Post-Nano, he's a saviour for the media. We have the India Inc singing praises of this man whose long list of achievements boasts of one of India's worst riots. The surge in the developmental side in Gujarat is being praised all over but many are turning a blind eye to the selective development happening there. There are certain places where development is stunted purposefully. Hitler must be turning in his grave and wishing that there was a 1944 model Nano. I better stay away from the task of writing about India's state under the Nano boy.
4.Sanjay 'Jhappi' Dutt
This is not a 'Vaastav' situation, just some imagination. His story is a perfect case of how films can blind common man and create a hero out of a villain. With just the Munnabhai series, he managed to wipe off the stain of arms that he possessed. The 'Jaadu ki jhappi' was accepted happily by atleast a section of the public. After marrying Manyata, he was also affected by the loose tongue disorder. But I still wonder why the 'Jaadu ki jhappi to Mayawati' dialogue evoked such harsh responses. Anyway, I purposefully kept him away from Mayawati to avoid a 'jhappi incident' in my blog. When he becomes PM, a new law will be enacted so that common man can keep 'harmless' weapons like AK-47 and AK-56 in their homes. Munnahai will be screened in Doordarshan as part of national integration every week. Khal Nayak will be screened every alternate week for national disintegration.5.Lalit 'IPL' Modi
The IPL man is riding high on the 'commercial' success. Obviously, he will have 'power' dreams in the near future. The day he becomes PM, he will come up with a rule to conduct the Indian general elections to be shifted to south Africa, whenever it clashes with the IPL schedule. Postal ballot facility will be provided for those who can't travel till South Africa. Cheerleaders will accompany those who are travelling to South Africa.
6.Rakhi 'dumbo' sawant
This is the depths of far fetched imagination. She's currently in the news for a reality show in NDTV imagine which will conduct a nationwide search for a perrect husband for her. The day she becomes PM, all newspapers will be asked to keep the 'page 3' news in front page with banner headlines like 'Rakhi again slaps husband'. The IIT entrance examinations will be done away with and will be replaced by a Dumbness Quotient(DQ) test.
your crusader Praveen
This entry was posted
on Wednesday, April 22, 2009
at Wednesday, April 22, 2009
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